OSI Reality TV 

To our clients who opted out of the new OSI Reality TV series, “Help Desk Nightmare”, we are sorry that you will miss a darn good time. To all of our other clients, say “CHEESE!” We are pleased to announce that the remote cameras and microphones have been installed ahead of schedule and are now operational.

Stay tuned to Fox TV this fall.

By: Scott Schafer,
OSI Technologies, Inc.

OSI is GROWING!

We would like to thank our clients for their continued support and are pleased to announce two new appointments. William Jefferson Clinton has joined OSI as Commander in Chief. You may be familiar with his work in the Executive Branch of the US government and more recently as a participant in heart bypass research. Bill will be responsible for client relationship management as well as overseeing our intern program.

In the area of public relations, we are pleased to announce that the internationally recognized rapper Ludacris will be joining OSI as Director of Communications. Ludacris has a strong track record in Gansta Rap. You may be familiar with his latest CD “Red Light District”. Ludacris will bring the same unique sensitivity and perspective to OSI that he used to create such modern classics as “Cell Block Lockdown”, “U got a problem?” and “Phat Rabbit”.

We welcome Bill and Ludacris to the OSI team.

Other Staff Changes:
On a slightly awkward note, Scott will be taking a few weeks leave from OSI. His dedication his physical conditioning routine has increased his muscle mass beyond the contract limits imposed on OSI’s IT staff. To that end, Scott will be on a strict diet of Burger King Humongous Omelet sandwiches and Krispy Crème Donuts until his muscle mass to body fat ratio is again within the limits appropriate for our profession.

In France, April Fools day is called "Poisson d'Avril" meaning April Fish. The tradition is that French children will tape paper fish to the backs of their friends. When they would discover the fish on their back, the prankster would yell "Poisson d'Avril!" The origin of this is unknown but it sounds like a heck of a good time.

In Scotland the April fool is called April "gowk" which is Scottish for cuckoo. The Cuckoo is an emblem of simpletons.

One newscaster on the news show CBO Morning announced that the clock in Ottawa's Peace Tower was being switched to digital.

On 1 April 1957 on BBC's show Panorama opened with a line about Spring coming early this year, prompting the spaghetti harvest in Switzerland to be early as well. In the normal news manner, spaghetti's oddly uniform length was explained as the result of years of dedicated cultivation. The report stated that the ravenous spaghetti weevil had been conquered.